


On The High Seas

by TheNightFury



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Curses, Drowning, Found Family, Kallus has a very bad time, M/M, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Drowning, Mer AU, Mermaid Kallus, PTSD, Tags to be added, Zeb eventually shows up I promise, graphic description of death, mermaid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:33:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24432148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNightFury/pseuds/TheNightFury
Summary: One-man risks everything to save the life of an innocent being. No good deed goes unpunished, now he must live the life of a cursed man.
Relationships: Alexsandr Kallus & Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus/Garazeb "Zeb" Orrelios, Alexsandr Kallus/Yogar Lyste, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Mentioned Alexsandr Kallus/Yogar Lyste
Comments: 13
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

It was a good day on the Lawbringer, two pirate ships had been taken down and the surviving crew members captured and safely locked away below deck. The crew was in high spirits merrily drinking as they sailed back to shore. 

The Lawbringer was the deadliest ship on the sea. His crew was top notch, and one of the best to sail the high seas. They never failed to capture or destroy their target, something that was well known from the ports to the deepest parts of the ocean. 

Alexsandr Kallus prided himself on being one of the best there was, turning the crew of the Lawbringer from just an average crew, to the most feared one to sail the ocean. 

“Today was a good day,” Captain Zataire proudly declared. 

“And not a moment too soon,” Kallus noted, glancing up at the rapidly darkening sky. “It appears a storm is coming.”

“It appears so,” Zataire agreed as they scanned over the crew. “Have you thought more on Yularen’s proposition?” Kallus really should not have been surprised to hear he knew of Yularens offer for him to captain his own ship. 

“I have,” Kallus slowly said. “I fear though you may be stuck with me for a little longer yet,” Being first mate wasn’t as revered of a title as Captain, but he was happy where he was. He wouldn’t trade what he had for anything.

“Their loss is my gain,” Zataire said. “Lyste especially will be pleased.” He added with a knowing smirk. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kallus said without missing a beat. He knew everyone knew what he and Lyste got up to. It was hard not to with how loud Lyste tended to be and how thin the walls were, but that didn’t mean he had to acknowledge it.

“Right,” Zataire dryly said. 

“Do you have a special someone waiting back home?” Kallus asked as he scanned the crowd. 

“I may find someone tonight,” Zataire said.

Lyste from the other side of the ship was trying to catch his eye, likely hoping the pair could slip away unnoticed while the crew celebrated their success. Kallus was considering carefully excusing himself to just that, when he noticed the crew scrambling to throw the nets into the water, yelling excitedly. 

“What’s going on?” Kallus asked, the pair walking down to where some crew members where frantically yanking the nets back out of the water. 

“Slavin noticed something in the water!” Graves grunted as he and Slavin struggled to drag the nets back out of the water, something big visibly struggling to escape. Kallus couldn’t shake the feeling of wrongness as they continued to yank and very human sounding cries filled his ears. For a brief moment Kallus wondered if someone from another ship fell overboard or worse if there was a ship wreck. 

As they pulled the net onto the ship, the first thing Kallus noticed was that a woman was tangled into the net, but then he noticed the tail. A tail, they had a mermaid on their ship. Her pale skin was framed with beautiful dark locks of hair, her dark green tail glittering in the sunlight. Without even thinking about it, Kallus was pulling his knife out and was leaning down to start cutting the net away to free her as she frantically tried to pull away, crying in terror, deep blue eyes begging him not to hurt her.

“What are you doing?” Slavin cried. 

“We have to let her go!” Kallus cried. 

“Do you realize how much we could sell it for?” Blaine exclaimed. “We could all be rich!”

“She’s an innocent living being,” Kallus firmly said, standing up, protectively standing in front of her. 

“We could never work again!” Graves shouted, other angry voices from the rest of the crew echoing across the deck. 

“At the cost of an innocent life!” Kallus exclaimed. 

“Who cares about it?” Zataire declared much to Kallus’s shock and horror.

“We are tasked with protecting the innocent!” Kallus declared, “Lyste don’t you-“ He began, knowing he would agree with him, he always did. Only this time when he met his eyes, Lyste refused to meet them, clearly to terrified to go against the rest of the crew. “Lyste-“

“We could be rich!” Slavin cried

“At what cost?” Alex exclaimed, his crew staring at him in shock. “That money would be earned on the blood of an innocent being! You would sell your honor and good names for what? An easy payday?”

Most of the crew looked amongst each other uneasily, clearly hit with a moral dilemma. Good, maybe he could still reach them. 

“Are you really going to fall for that?” One of Kallus’s top opposers Blaire cried out in rage. “We’re really going to give up the payday of a lifetime just because he says its wrong?”

“An innocent being would suffer if we did.” Lyste shakily said, earning a proud grin from Kallus. 

“How do we know he just is angry he’d have to share?” Blaire demanded. 

“Do you realize how ridiculous you sound right now?” Kallus asked with a raised eyebrow. He know Blaire was gunning for first mate, this was just another failed attempt to throw him down. 

“Does he?” Zane demanded, stepping into view. Kallus wasn’t surprised he was siding with Blaire, he’d always been bitter he was sleeping with Lyste and not him. “I can’t figure out any other reason you’d oppose.”

“Morals,” Kallus deadpanned, “Something you seem to be painfully short on, amongst other things.” Zane stalked up at Kallus’s face, glaring at him, with pure rage in his eyes.

“You cocky son of a-“

“Isn’t it obvious?” Blaire called out. “This isn’t about morals; this is about a selfish bastard wanting to be the only rich man in the room.”

“What are you on about now?” Kallus asked.

“Think about it, all those contracts, all the pirates and scum we work so hard to take out, we should be getting paid quiet handsomely for our hard and dangerous work right?” Uncertain choruses of yes and yeah’s filled the air, filling him with dread. “Yet here we all are, just barely scrapping by, strugglin’ to feed ourselves and our families! Where does all that other money go hmm?”

“Everyone get’s paid a fair wage and everything else goes to the ship,” Kallus firmly said, not breaking eye contact with Blaire.

“Where’s the proof?” Blaire asked. “How do we know you’re not just pocketing all the money and are trying to let our sweet payday go because you want to be the richest member of the crew?”

“That’s insane and you know it!”

“Show us proof of the so-called work done!”

“Renaldo, remember all the supplies for the galley we got for you?” Kallus asked. “Or the nice beer you all have been happily guzzling down today- that costs money. Every other little thing you’ve seen get fixed up or replaced, that all adds up-“

“You making these claims is not proof,” Zane declared, “They’re just pretty words you always use to control us!”

“All you ever do is make and enforce pointless rules!” Geralt cried out. 

“Those rules have helped shape all of you into the formidable crew you are now-“

“You know what I think?” Geralt interrupted, “I think you just get off on controlling everyone. These rules don’t help us, they just keep us down, prevent us from having some fun!”

“Hurting people is not-“

“Wait she’s getting away!” An enraged voice cried, Kallus whipping around just in time to see the mermaid slip over the edge to dive back into the safety of the ocean. Kallus didn’t even have time to be pleased with her escape as angry shouting filled the desk, all directed at him. Kallus frantically scanned the crowd, locking eyes with Zataire’s cold uncaring gaze. Did he really not care that there crew was discussing killing him? 

“So the truth comes out!” Blaire cried. “You think we’re just a bunch of animals that will run wild without your control!”

“That’s not what I-“

“He doesn’t trust us!” Zane cried. “As soon as we get to shore, he’ll probably turn us all in!”

“No!” Kallus cried. “No one has committed a crime! This will all just go away as if nothing happened-“

“How can we trust you?” Blaire demanded. “Mr. Rules and Regulations will probably find away to have us all tossed into the brig as soon as we land!”

“You know me! I have stood by each and every one of you in battle! We fought for each other, protected each other! Was it all really meaningless to you?”

“We all know what you really think of us! Hidden away in your office, thinking you’re better then us!”

“No I-“

“Bet we can get a pretty penny for you though,” Blaire hissed. “We’ve got some friends who would gladly take a pretty piece of meat for a pretty penny.” There was a chorus of agreement followed by some of the crew starting to argue with those that where agreeing, for a moment warming Kallus’s heart. All hope wasn’t lost, some of his crew still believed him. 

A rough hand clamed over his mouth while another set of hands started roughly rapping chains around his wrists.

“You should’ve let us keep it,” Blaire hissed into his ear as Kallus frantically thrashed, trying to catch someone, anyone’s attention, but everyone was too busy arguing, Geralt all too eagerly helping add more fuel to the rapidly growing fire. 

“Can we really let him live even? We can’t possibly hold him; he’d break out and kill us all!”

_Do they really think I could ever do such a thing?_

Before he could even think of doing anything to stop what was happening, Alex was brutally thrown overboard, slamming into the relentless ocean, body immediately sinking down from the weight of the chains. No matter how hopeless this all was, Kallus was no quitter. He refused to give up. Frantically thrashing, Kallus tried to shake the chains free, desperately praying he could get loose, it was his only hope of getting back to the surface. But, hard as he tried the chains would not budge as he sunk deeper and deeper into the cold unforgiving ocean, his limbs growing heavy as his lungs screamed for air they would never again get. 

His kicks grew weaker and weaker as his lungs screamed for air. He was getting so lightheaded he couldn’t think straight. Was he going up or down? Did it even matter? Soon his thrashing slowed until all he could do was continue to sink as darkness rapidly consumed his vision, a dark shadow of something frantically swimming towards him the last thing to fill his vision. 

\----

Serena knew going so close to the surface was dangerous, with their ocean filling with more and more ships that could spot her every day the risk had exponentially grown of being seen and captured, or worse. She couldn’t resist the call of the surface, the way the wind blew through her hair as she jumped through the air with the dolphins, joyfully laughing. 

She should have been paying more attention, should have noticed the signs before it was too late. By the time she knew she was in danger, the nets were surrounding her and there was nothing she could do to escape. No one knew what happened to mer’s when captured by humans, but she was soon going to find out, and no one would know what happened to her. She refused to go down without a fight, so she frantically thrashed, desperately trying to wiggle free of the nets she was tangled in. 

The nets refused to yield as she was lifted out of the water and onto the surface on the ship, surrounded by dozens of men all looking hungrily at her. She wanted to be strong, but fear override every other sense as she broke down sobbing. She was going to die here on this boat. Her friends and family would never really know what became of her. She would disappear into nothingness. It was all over. 

A man kneeled down in front of her, knife in hand to start cutting away the net, Serena frantically trying to pull away from him, a vein hope that maybe she could drag herself off of the ship- 

“What are you doing?” another voice exclaimed. 

“We have to let her go!” The man kneeling in front of her said. Wait…let her go? He was trying to save her?

“Do you realize how much we could sell it for?” The same man said. “We could all be rich!”

“She’s an innocent living being,” The golden man said, slowly standing up, keeping himself firmly positioned in front of her, out of view from the sick men’s gaze. More arguing was breaking out amongst them, distracting everyone from her. Good. The golden man had cut enough away she was able to carefully start dragging herself towards to edge of the boat. 

Slowly she got closer and closer to the edge, to her freedom. Several times she stopped in fear that someone had noticed her trying to escape, but when no one said anything she continued to slowly drag herself over to the edge, carefully scanning the crowd to make sure no one was watching her. 

As she neared the edge, she felt a pair of eyes staring her down and looking up, she found a pale skinny man staring at her, freezing her into place, eyes wide with horror as she waited for him to sound the alarm. He never did. Instead he was carefully waving her on, encouraging her to keep moving. 

Maybe not all of mankind was so terrible after all. 

“Wait she’s getting away!” A voice cried. Too late. With one final tug she threw herself over the edge back into the oceans comforting embrace. She was safe. She was alive. She should be swimming away as fast as she could, but she couldn’t she couldn’t move as she floated there, trying to get her frantic heartbeat back under control. She needed to move, to get away, what if they dove in after her? What if-

A loud splash nearby startled her out of her frozen state. On instinct she started to swim away, glancing back towards her pursuer only to realize he wasn’t chasing her, but frantically trying to get back to the surface. It was then that she realized this was the man who had tried to save her. He was rapidly sinking into the ocean, his thrashing rapidly getting weaker. 

He was going to die. This man saved her life and his repayment for doing so was going to be death unless she saved him. But if she saved him, she risked getting captured by the ship that was still frighteningly to close. Could she be so selfish as to leave him to die? She was paralyzed with indecision as his thrashing grew weaker and his eyes grew foggy, completely unaware of her presence nearby. 

No, he risked everything for her, it was only right she did the same. Swimming as if her own life depended on it she flew through the water towards the man, wrapping her arms around him and started the slow process of dragging him back to the surface. He was so heavy though, the clothes on him weighing him down, making it even harder to lift him up. 

It quickly became apparent that she had been swimming for several long minutes and had made little headway, followed quickly be the realization that humans could not survive underwater for this long. She glanced down at his pale lifeless body, frantically pressed her hands on his neck, praying to Ursula there was still a pulse. But their was nothing. He was _dead_. He had saved her life and was now dead because she had hesitated to do the same for him. 

Choking on a sob, she released his body, instead reaching over to cradle his ice-cold face in her hands, pressing her forehead against his.

“I’m so sorry,” Serena whispered. “You didn’t deserve this.” Deep within her she felt her magic bubbling up inside of her, begging for release. She didn’t even know what she could do, he was gone. Something deep inside her urged her on and without thinking she tenderly kissed his lips, her magic surging out of her, flowing from her into his lifeless body. Light encompassed his body, blinding her. With a cry she looked away, shielding her eyes until the light faded and she heard weak gagging. Gasping she opened her eyes to find the man, thrashing in the water, clawing at his neck as he tried to breath. 

After getting over the initial shock of seeing a dead man moving again, she registered the fact that instead of legs he had a golden tail, light yellow scales trailing up his arms. He was a mer now. 

“H-hey stop!” Serena cried, grabbing his hands. “You don’t need to breathe anymore.” The man froze, clearly struggling to resist the urge to breathe through his mouth. She tenderly reached up to stroke his new gills saying, “Let them do the work okay?” The man weakly nodded, opening his mouth to speak, only to start coughing painfully, body trying to expel the water in his lungs. “Follow me, Ianthe will know what to do!” 

Frantic, Serena started to swim away, freezing when the man was not following her. Confused, she turned back to face him, only to find him staring at her uncertainly as he awkwardly tried to tread water. “I promise I am not going to hurt you.” She soothingly said, swimming back over to him to take his hands. “You saved my life, let me help you now.” The man locked eyes with Serena, terror filling them as he slowly nodded his head.

“Good,” She breathed, relieved. “My name’s Serena, what’s yours?” The man opened his mouth to speak…but nothing happened. Eyes wide with horror, the man placed a hand over his throat, body trembling. 

“Hey, hey uh w-we’ll figure this out okay?” Serena said. “Just, let’s get you to Ianthe, she’s the elder of our pod. She’ll know what to do to help you.” Serene took his hand and slowly helped him start to swim. Ianthe would know what to do. She had to.


	2. The Ship Graveyard

Swimming with a tail Kallus discovered was radically different then swimming with legs. He had to train himself to not try and kick his legs that no longer existed and to move his tail correctly. His mind still struggled to process the fact that he had a tail. How did this happen? Why? He was certain he had died. He still felt like he was actively dying even though he clearly was not. 

His lungs seemed to be constantly filled with water and no matter how much he coughed or hacked, they still remained full. His body did not scream for air, his gills seeming to do all the word providing him air, but it felt so wrong, like he was constantly on the edge of drowning all over again. It was not a pleasant feeling. Did all mers feel like this? How did they live like this?

“Move your hips,” Serena gently said when she noticed Kallus struggling. “And don’t use your hands, your tail will do the work. Keep them at your side.” Alex nodded and tried to keep his hands at his side. Still he found himself struggling to glide through the water like Serena did.

“Why do you wear those?” Serena asked, gesturing to the tattered remains of his clothes. He wanted to convey that he would then be naked if he got rid of them. But she was right, his clothes were dragging him down and clearly Serena was not wearing anything save a covering over her chest. “You would do better without them.” 

It felt wrong to go around in essence naked, but he was struggling to swim so he awkwardly started to remove the remaining clothes that clung onto him and almost immediately found it was easier to move through the water. It felt strange not wearing anything but he couldn’t deny he felt infinitely less weighed down with the uniform gone. 

As he got more comfortable swimming, Kallus tried to figure out a way to communicate his name to Serena. He considered trying to spell his name out on Serena’s arm but immediately disregarded the idea. Why would the Mer people know English? It was a human language made by humans that seemed to actively hunt and kill mers. How was he supposed to communicate with the mers though? If he was to live with them, what was he supposed to do? 

Kallus spent most of the trip (swim?) to the pod mulling this fact over, and was no closer to coming up with a solution by the time they arrived. Initially the only sign they had reached the pod was the glimpses of mers he caught out of the corner of his eyes. Were they….following them? Kallus didn’t have a chance to think on that as they swam through a thick patch of seaweed and Kallus found himself face to face with what at a glance appeared to be a ship graveyard, but upon closer inspection he realized was the home of the mermaids. 

Coral and seaweed merged with the shipwreck, growing over and from within the wreckage. A massive coral forest surrounded the area, likely acting as a protective barrier from predators. It was truly a sight to behold, one Kallus could have spent more time soaking in, but Serena was swimming away from him so he was forced to tear his gaze away to catch up to her. 

Swimming through the Mer’s home, Kallus was hyper aware of the mers coming out to stare at them. He felt so exposed as he swam with Serena, everyone was staring at him with varying degrees of wariness and fear. Did they know he was, or had been, human? Were they just nervous because he was an outsider? 

Kallus didn’t have time to figure any of this out as Serena swam through the wrecks. Most of the mers seemed to have turned the wreckage into their homes, but as he swam he noticed some of the mers seemed to be living in the cave systems just by the wreck. Kallus expected the leader of the pod to be in the ship, but instead Serena led him past the wreck and into one of the larger caves. The entrance of the cave held what only could be described as a coral garden. He expected the cave to be dark when he entered but soon, he realized the cave was filled with bioluminescent coral and seaweeds. 

“Ianthe!” Serena called out, “Are you here?”

“Serena,” A female voice called out, swimming towards them. Ianthe if Kallus had to guess. “Are you alright?” Ianthe had pure white hair and tail with long pointed ears and webbed fingers. White scales where sprinkled across her dark skin, making her almost glow.

“I’m alright but…he needs our help.” Serena said, gesturing to Kallus. 

“Oh?” Ianthe asked, turning her gaze to Kallus. Her deep green eyes pierced him as she asked, “And who is he?”

“I…don’t know his name,” Serena slowly admitted. 

“Why?”

“….he can’t tell me…”

“He is deaf?” 

“He wasn’t when he was a human….” Serena said, curling in on herself as she said that.

“….Serena, what happened?” Ianthe asked, voice terrifyingly devoid of emotion. 

“I was captured by humans and he rescued me! But….I’m not sure how but he wound up overboard and h-he was sinking so fast and I-I couldn’t get him to the surface before he….he-“

“Died,” Ianthe finished, never tearing her gaze away from Kallus. 

“…I-I don’t know what I was doing after that but….my magic it just urged me to kiss him and then….this happened….” Serena finished, gesturing to Kallus.

“I am so sorry this has happened to you,” Ianthe gently said, starting to sign as she spoke. “I cannot imagine how terrifying this all is for you. Can you speak with your hands?” Seeing her use sign language that was the same as the one used by humans temporarily threw him, but after he got over the shock he nodded and started to sign,

_I do._ After a terrible accident one of his crewmembers lost his hearing so Kallus learned how to sign to better communicate with him, the rest of the crew slowly picking it up as they realized it was a useful way to stealthily communicate with each other. 

“What is your name?”

_My name is_ he began, hesitating. For years he had simply gone by Kallus. It was what his crews and friends always called him. But the same people that called him Kallus were the one’s who cruelly tossed him into the sea. _Alex. My name is Alex._ Kallus died in the ocean. Alex was who came back thanks to Serena. Alex was who he was now. 

“Alex,” Ianthe said. “When Serena brought you back it saved you, but also cursed you.” 

Cursed? 

“C-cursed?” Serena gasped, eyes wide.

“You are alive, but not truly alive. You have a tail and can breathe underwater but you are not truly a mer. Not alive but not dead, not a human but not a mer. You now exist in an in between state, not fully existing in any place.” 

“W-wha- h-how-“

“It is not our place to decide who lives and who dies,” Ianthe snapped, glaring at Serena who shrunk back. “The consequences for such things causes more suffering then simply allowing them to die in peace.”

“I-I didn’t-“

“You were warned of the dangers and you disregarded them to alleviate your own guilt,” Ianthe said. “And now he must pay the price for your ignorance.” 

Serena turned to Alex and whispered, “I am so sorry.”

_You saved me_ Alex signed. _I owe you my life._

“I-I’m sorry I don’t-“

“He says he owes you his life.” Ianthe said. 

“I owed you mine first,” Serena whispered. Alex turned to Ianthe and signed, 

_Is part of the curse…feeling as though I am still drowning?_

“How the curse manifests varies from person to person,” Ianthe said. “Since you died by drowning your body still believes it is drowning even when you are not.” Alex wrapped his arms around himself, trying to resist the urge to breath like he would before. “Of course you are welcome to stay here with us,” Ianthe gently assured. 

“He can stay with me,” Serena added. 

“Help him to get adjusted to living with us,” Ianthe said. Unable to resist asking the question, despite knowing the answer might break him, Alex reached over to tap Ianthe’s shoulder.

_Can this curse be broken?_ Alex signed when he had Ianthe’s attention. Ianthe looked over Alex, clearly conflicted, for a minute before saying,

“That….is a loaded question….you have been through too much today already. Get some rest, we will discuss all of that tomorrow.” Though she tried to use soothing tones, her words only served to rile Alex up. He was not a delicate child that needed protection. He was a former first mate on one of the most feared ships to sail the ocean. He was a fighter. He did not need coddling. 

_I do not need to be protected. Whatever it is I can handle._ Alex firmly sighed, leveling a stern glare at Ianthe. 

“Trust me when I say, you need a level head when making the decision you will have to make. Get some rest. Give yourself time to process all that has happened.”

Alex began furiously signing, _I have lungs full of water. How can I ever have a clear head like this?_

“You will not change my mind,” Ianthe firmly said. “You need to cool off.” Alex was practically trembling with rage as he furiously swam out of the cave, not even registering the fact that Serena was following him. He was losing control of himself and he hated it. 

“Alex,” Serena said, grabbing Alex’s hand to stop him. He knew he could easily pull away, but something in her tone made him pause. “Please just, s-slow down okay? I know you’re upset and probably feeling a lot right now but….it’s probably why Ianthe wants to wait-“ Alex whipped around, starting to sign before realizing Serena did not know what he was saying. Alex looked around, trying to figure out how to communicate what he was thinking. Looking around he found a piece of wood, holding it in his hand like a sword and pointing at himself. 

“…..uh…you like…wood?” Serena slowly asked. Alex firmly shook his head and swung the plank. 

“Oh you like fighting!” Alex held up a hand, holding his thumb and pointer finger close together. He pointed to the plank then at himself and held it up like a staff. “Oh a warrior! You’re a fighter.” Alex nodded as he broke the plank in half and shook his head. 

“You’re….not a warrior?” Alex firmly shook his head again before gesturing to the broken plank. 

“You’re not…broken?” Alex nodded. Close enough. 

“She doesn’t think you’re broken, just….hurting.” Serena said, taking Alex’s hands in her own. “She just thinks you need a breather…you did…d-die.” Alex stared down at the sea floor, mind swirling. He didn’t want to live the rest of his life cursed. He was a man of action. Sitting around waiting for someone to decide he was ready enough for whatever it was he was going to be told, but he had to admit his emotions were all over the place, he didn’t know what he was feeling. “How about I show you your new home?” 

Alex looked up to met her eyes and nodded, earning a wide grin from Serena who exclaimed, “Follow me!” Before eagerly swimming off, Alex following close behind. Alex almost expected her to swim into the wreckage, but instead she led him towards one of the caves. The cave they entered a chaotic mess of coral and remains from the shipwreck and various items that likely fell overboard from other ships. 

With her seeming enjoyment of human items, Alex was surprised she was living in a cave. Curious, Alex patted her shoulder and gestured to the ship.

“Whha- oh! You want to know why I’m living in the cave here,” Serena sheepishly said. “I…I don’t know I just…I feel more comfortable here…I am fascinated by this human stuff but……this is my home.” Alex nodded. He understood what she was saying. He had always in the past felt most at home on his ship. Now he was somewhat grateful she didn’t live on the ship. He wasn’t sure how he would feel living back in the very place that was the reason he had died. 

Despite all of the clutter attached to the walls, Alex couldn’t help but notice how much room there was. 

“Luckily for us I haven’t really filled this place up which will leave room for you to sleep!” She said. The only thing on the floor was one half of a giant clam, the other shell leaning against the wall which Serena immediately swam over to and carefully laid it down next to the other one. 

“Oh follow me!” Curious, Alex followed behind her as she swam towards the coral forest towards what appeared to kelp. “Grab some!” She said, grinning at him. Alex looked at her and then at the kelp in confusion. 

“….do humans not have something soft to rest their heads on?” Alex eyes lit up with understanding as he reached for some. Kelp, not something he would have used. But he supposed there wasn’t much else that could be used. With some kelp gathered the pair returned to Serena’s cave where she helped him arrange them in his bed. 

“Go on, try it out!” She said. Concerned, Alex carefully settled down, surprised by how comfortable it was. The next thought was registering just how exhausted he felt. He shouldn’t be surprised, given everything that had happened to him, but still he tried to fight off the exhaustion. 

“Sleep might not be a bad thing,” Serena gently said as she settled into her own clam. “Tomorrow I’ll show you all of my favorite places to go….we’ll be your new family.” Alex didn’t want to try and make a new family. He’d been burned once, he would not get burned again….but sleep. Sleep sounded wonderful. Before he knew it, Alex had drifted off into a restless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Enraged voices screamed around him, shouting curses and death threats at him. 

“Bastard!”

“Traitor!”

“How could you!”

“ _Kill him_!” His crew hated him, they wanted him to die. Why? Rough hands were grabbing him, dragging him towards the edge off the ship, Alex frantically thrashing in their arms, crying out,

“Wait no please!” But they refused to listen, mercilessly tossing him into the cruel icy ocean, dragging him deeper and deeper beneath the waves as water filled his lungs-

Alex woke up with a strangled gasped, struggling to fill his aching lungs with air, but each frantic breath seemed to only fill his lungs with more water-

“Alex! Alex stop!” Serena cried, yanking him from the nightmare. “Don’t do that! Use your gills!” Gills? Gills! But his body refused to listen, frantically trying to take in air through his mouth and nose, dragging more and more water into his body only adding to the panic-

Serena slammed her hands over his mouth and nose, keeping him from breathing through them. Instinctively he tried to shake away from her until he registered the fact that his lungs were not actually screaming for air and that his gills were in fact working and he was not drowning in any capacity despite the water in his lungs. 

“There we go,” Serena soothingly said, pulling her hands away. “You okay?”

Alex weakly nodded his head, refusing to look her in the eyes. He was not weak, she would not see him as so.

“You wanna talk about it?” Serena asked, Alex firmly shook his head as soon as she finished the question. He would not talk about his dreams, talking about them would mean they affected him, and they didn’t. He was strong, these dreams were nothing. 

“Okay….” Serena uncertainly said. “Well it’s still early but I don’t think we’ll be getting any more sleep....what if I show you my favorite place?”

Alex tilted his head curiously but slowly nodded. He supposed if this place was to be his new home he should get more comfortable and learn more about it. 

“Great!” Serena cheered. “We should still be early enough to see it!” Alex was curious as to what ‘it’ was so he followed the overly eager Serena as she swam out of their cave and back towards the kelp forest and beyond towards the coral reef they had swam through yesterday. Alex realized it was still very early likely as the ocean around them was still dark, the sun not high enough for the morning light to reach the water. Serena led him to a high point on the reef that looked down to the coral forest below, the colors even in the dark popping through. 

“Here lay down on the rocks,” Serena said, settling down on the high point. Alex however swam in place, staring at her in confusion. “Just trust me!”

Still confused, Alex reluctantly settled down beside her, looking out over the reef as light slowly filtered down into the area. The night before Alex had been too distracted by everything that had happened to him to really take in the natural beauty of the reef. The magnificent colors of the various corals and plants, the way they gently swayed in the current that flowed through the reef, the cones of light that filtered through the water-

“Oh it’s starting!” Serena whispered, eagerly nudging Alex and pointing towards the center of the reef where the coral was thickest. Alex squinted his eyes, trying to find what Serena was looking at, scanning the coral for any signs of movement when he spotted it, in the plant like coral, colorful white and orange fish started popping out one by one after curiously poking their heads out. 

As more light filtered through the ocean, more fish started appearing from their various hiding places, the reef filling with swirling colors as creatures swam about in a strange yet enticing dance, turning from a calm motionless scene to an underwater bustling city. Despite all of the activity before him, it was shockingly quiet, completely different from the usual bustling noises of the city as it was first awakening, yet so much more beautiful and enchanting to see. 

“Oh look! The turtles are migrating!” Serena gasped, pointing above them, Alex immediately looking above, a silent gasp escaping his lips as he looked up to see a massive group of turtles swimming above them, gracefully moving through the water as one group, practically flying through the ocean. 

“They’re so beautiful aren’t they?” Serena whispered, watching them in adoration. Alex couldn’t help but agree, they truly were beautiful- “Why do humans insist on killing them?” Humans didn’t insist on killing them, it was more often an unfortunate accident. Some certainly killed them for their shells but that was hardly all humans. “Sorry I shouldn’t blame you...you seem to care about all lives….you did save me after all.” Alex glanced away, trying to hide his guilt. Yes he did save her, but she was a living….well not human, being? Person? The name didn’t exactly matter but she was more human like, it felt wrong to kill her. Had they dragged a turtle aboard he likely wouldn’t have cared. 

“Hey you okay?” Serena softly asked, placing a hand on top of his, Alex jerking his hand away. She only liked him based on her assumptions of who he was, if she knew who he was, who he had truly been, she would hate him. “What’s wrong?” Serena asked as Alex wrapped his arms around himself, swimming away from her. “Alex you need to tal- uh communicate with me!” Serena said, swimming after him. 

He understood why she wanted to try and reach out to him, but how could he properly convey everything he was feeling if she couldn’t even sign? And he certainly wasn’t good enough to try and mime what he was feeling.

“I know it's hard but we need to at least try!” What would communicating do? Make her hate him? Make her wish she’d simply left him dead? What good would that do anyone? Alex shook his head, frantically swimming away, ignoring Serena’s frantic crying out for him to wait. He didn’t want to wait, he didn’t want to be here, he wanted to be on his ship with his crew as if nothing ever happened. But something did happen. His crew hadn’t cared about him like he had about them. They left him to die a horrible death. Leaving him to drown in the cold merciless ocean. 

He truly did not belong anywhere. He was nothing. No one. 

When he died again, no one would mourn him. 

Alex swam as fast as he could, eyes blurry and unfocused, not even slightly paying attention to where he was going. All he could think was he had to get away as fast as he could. Alex didn’t register the sudden change in temperature in the water, nor how it went from bright and colorful coral to brownish seaweed. It was only when Alex nearly slammed into the shallow bank did he realize how far he must have swam and that he was approaching the shoreline. what shoreline he was approaching Alex didn’t know, but he honestly should not have been surprised. 

All he wanted was to be alive and human again. To walk amongst his peers, to feel the wind on his face and feel the air rushing back into his lungs. Land is where he wanted to be, it was only natural that something guided him back. Curious, Alex resurfaced, gasping when he saw an all too familiar ship in the port. 

The Lawbringer was here. He had swam all the way back to his old home. 

A silent gasp escaped his lips when he saw a familiar face sitting on the docks, completely alone, staring out longingly towards the ocean. 

Lyste. 

Alex wanted to believe Lyste was thinking of him, wishing he had done more to save him, desperately trying to will the universe to turn back time to do it all over again. Heart hammering, Alex dove back beneath the water, swimming towards the docks with reckless abandon. 

Lyste cared about him, stood up for him, fought for him. He still cared when no one else did. He surely mourned him. Without even thinking Alex surfaced and grabbed the edge of the dock, lifting himself up, Lyste shouting in terror at his sudden emergence. 

“What are you?” Lyste cried, scrambling away. Before he could get too far, Alex grabbed his hand, reaching out to cup his face, forcing him to look at Alex with a soft smile on his face. “K-Kallus?” Lyste stammered, Kallus nodding eagerly in response. 

“H-how- what are you?” Alex released Lyste so he could start signing how Serena had saved his life after he was thrown overboard and how he became whatever he was now after that, but before he could , Lyste frantically said, 

“Wait wait s-slow down I can’t understand you!” Alex’s hands froze mid sign, remembering Lyste had never been that good with sign language. “Why can’t you talk.”

Alex ducked his head, down, unconsciously rubbing his throat, ignoring the feeling of water burning his lungs that still begged for air. 

“W-wait right here!” Lyste said, scrambling to his feet. “I’ll get someone from the crew-” _No_. Alex would have screamed if he could as he grabbed Lyste’s arm, frantically shaking his head. 

“What do you mean?” Lyste asked. “I mean- I’ll get someone you can trust I promise. Some of the crew were against what happened.”

Alex looked up at Lyste with terror in his eyes and with no way to truly communicate that fear to him. 

“Trust me,” Lyste assured. The terror was still clenching his heart, but slowly Alex nodded. He didn’t really have much of a choice, not if he wanted to communicate with Lyste. Who knows, maybe he could find out on his own how to free himself of this curse. “I’ll be back soon okay?”

Heart hammering in his chest, Alex slowly nodded, Lyste beaming at him before standing and walking back down the dock, Alex slipping back into the water, not wanting to be spotted by the wrong person accidentally. 

He could trust Lyste, he had always stood by his decisions, blindly following his lead no matter where it led. He didn’t know how to break this curse or what it would mean to do so, but he was certain Lyste would be willing to help him.

Whoever this mystery person Lyste was getting though Alex could not be so certain of. Who were they? Was it Renaldo? He had not been too keen to help him back on the ship but he hadn’t been a part of the mob either. Was he on Alex’s side like Lyste? He doubted it was Grint or Aresko, both generally only tolerated him due to his impressive performance. 

Auron maybe? After that accident it had been Alex to push the crew to learn sign language instead of kicking him off of the crew. He hadn’t been on deck when Alex had been tossed overboard and only had the crew's version of events but maybe Lyste could get through to him…

“Alex!” Serena hissed, only half emerged from the water, eyeing the bottom of the dock in terror, seemingly expecting humans to rip it open and find them hiding. “What are you doing here?” Alex pointed up and placed a hand over his heart, hoping she understood. 

“You love this….human….thingy?” Serena slowly asked, confusion written across her face. Alex merely stared at her for a moment with a raised eyebrow, hoping she would realize how ridiculous that sounded. 

“.....you’ve gotta give me more then that if that’s wrong!” Serena cried. Alex silently shook his head before lifting one hand and pointing two fingers down, moving them to indicate walking.

“You’re trying to walk?” Alex shook his head and repeated the motion before placing his hand over his heart. 

“You love walking?” Alex firmly shook his head, repeating the motion with both hands. 

“Uhhh….you have a friend?” Serena slowly said. Alex nodded his head and placed his hands over his heart. 

“Someone you love is here?” Alex eagerly nodded a wide grin on his face. 

“Was the person you love not on the ship?” Alex frowned, looking at her in confusion. Why does that matter? “Wait, they were? Why did they let you get tossed overboard?” The questions made Alex pause, struggling to figure out to convey the complex situation to Serena. What could Lyste have done against the entire crew? But before the crew became so hostile, why didn’t he speak up? He clearly had agreed with Alex, why didn’t he speak up as well? 

“Alex let’s get out of here,” Serena frantically said. “Before they see us-”

“Kallus? Are you still here?” Lyste called out, Serena yelping in response before diving beneath the water despite the fact that he couldn’t see them. “W-was that you?” Ignoring Serena’s frantic cries, Alex swam back to the end of the pier and lifted himself out of the water and onto the dock, freezing when he noticed who was standing beside Lyste. 

“Well hello payday,” Blaire said, a twisted grin on his face. Before Alex could even think to drop back into the water, Blaire’s rough hands were grabbing him, dragging him away from the edge of the docks. Frantic, Alex thrashed, desperately trying to break out of Blaire’s ironclad grip. 

“I thought you were insane Lyste!” Blaire said with a crazed laugh. “But here he is, tail and all! We are going to be rich!” Hyperventilating, Alex continued to wildly swing his tail, hoping to throw Blaire off balance, but Blaire would not be thrown off balance. 

_No, no this can’t be happening._ Alex frantically thought. He would be sold and then who knows what would be done to him. As hard as he fought, Blaire was inching him further and further down the docks. Alex frantically tried to lock eyes with Lyste who refused to even look at him. Lsyte had completely abandoned him. All for a payday. 

What had happened to him?

At the end of the day, it didn’t matter all that much he supposed. In the end, he was going to probably die all over again, just like he should have the first time.

Despite his own willingness to die, it seemed some other force did not want to see him die. Around them, the sea rapidly receded, building up higher and higher into a wave that crashed down onto the docks, sweeping them all into the sea, Alex nearly thrown back into the beach, only for Serena to latch onto him at the last minute and guide him back to the deep sea. 

“Come on Alex! Swim!” Serena cried, frantically tugging him along. What was the point? His life was truly meaningless, no one cared about him, he died completely alone and forgotten, what was the point of living this cursed half life? He was constantly on the edge of death, body certain he was dead whilst still forcing him to keep going. Why couldn’t Serena have just left him dead? 

Maybe he should just let Blaire take him away, surely it would be less painful then this. If he died then it would all finally be over, he maybe could rest in peace and not have to fight anymore. 

He hadn’t even realized he had stopped swimming and sunk down into the sand until Serena started frantically tugging on his hand, trying to get him to continue moving. 

“Alex I know this is so hard, but we need to get away from this cursed place!” Serena cried, swimming to his close face. “Those monsters may come after us still!”

Alex slowly lifted his head to look at her with lifeless eyes, all willpower to do anything gone. 

“Alex, please, don’t give up….you have me,” Serena gently said, resting down on the sand in front of him. “I’m your friend.” How could she be? She knew nothing about him, who he was, who he’d been. They had no history and nothing in common.

“I know we don’t know each other too well,” Serena continued, “But I want to learn more about you and I think if we had more time, we could be friends.” How could she possibly know that? Alex found himself shaking his head, unable to look her in the eye, feeling sick with self hatred as he stared at the sand. 

“....I know you’re a good person,” Serena softly said. “Not many people would risk their lives to help a silly mer who got caught by a bunch of greedy humans...fewer still would be nice to the person who let them drown because they were too scared to help them after they helped that mer.” Slowly, Alex lifted his head to finally look at Serena, the mer who, for reasons Alex could not fathom, genuinely seemed to care about him and wanted to help him. 

Could he really trust his own instincts though? He thought Lyste cared about him. Thought he could trust him. Thought he was a good man. Thought he loved him. 

But he was wrong. 

Who was to say he wasn’t wrong again? That he was completely misreading Serena’s intentions, that she was only kind of out of obligation? What if she was up to something and he was just to blind to see it? What did he know about her? They couldn’t even communicate! 

“....you probably don’t believe in yourself anymore,” Serena whispered. “You probably feel like...you must have done something wrong….why else would they do something like this to you….but it’s not your fault. It’s theirs. They deceived you and hurt you, you didn’t do anything to deserve what they did to you. You are a good, kind, brave, wonderful person who I am happy to call my friend….if you want?”

Was he though? It was his job to train his men, his job to lead and guide them, to turn them into honorable soldiers who protected the people, yet he failed. Despite his best efforts they were still willing to capture and sell an innocent person to line their own pockets. Didn’t that make him just as bad as them? Wasn’t their failure his failure? 

“Whatever horrible things you’re thinking about yourself….they’re not true! I know it. If you were as bad as you think you are, I’d have seen that by now! We’re connected now, me and you. We survived a horrific experience together and we’ll survive this! Whatever this is….what do you say?”

Alex was certain the universe itself wanted to see him suffer, that he was clearly a complete failure and a disappointment. But Serena, for whatever reason, seemed to believe otherwise, and Alex feared she would not leave until he started following her again. He didn’t believe he was deserving of her affection, but he refused to let her get hurt because of him, so gathering up every ounce of willpower he had left, Alex forced himself off of the sand, Serena beaming as they started swimming back towards the safety of the deep ocean.


End file.
